vivid dreams

i had a conversation with mum, of a vivid image i remember long ago when i was 3 years old or 4, i can't remember.. when daddy was in the hospital for an operation. i remember it so well when i see daddy enter into the MRI. i felt pain and the suffer that daddy go through, but mummy was like;

"no we never see daddy going into the MRI, i didn't bring you to the hospital..."

how come that image is so clear in my mind even until today. i remember it so well. was i dreaming or hallucinating? mum said i might have dream seeing daddy, but that image that flashback is so real. i felt that i was there with daddy. it has become a memory so strong that i can cry at the thought of it.. :'(

i had this fear. fear that i'm all alone. fear that no one is with me. this few days, i've been working hard not to think so much, but it seems my mind is so hardworking that 'she' is thinking every minute every day...

... loneliness







a year. no plans no initiative. an ordinary night. its okay.